Please don’t ever let this be the first question you ask anyone ever again…
So, what is it that YOUUUUUUU do?
I’m too ashamed to even lift my palm and smack you in the face right now my friend.
You’re a smart, intelligent, interesting human… QUIT DOING THIS.
One, the majority of people aren’t happy with the work they are doing. Don’t make their first encounter with you a moment of embarrassment where they have to talk about their 9-5 that sucks the soul out of their bod 40 hours a week. Ugh.
Two, this question is asked SO often that people typically have a rehearsed answer. Therefore, they go on auto-pilot and check out.
No wonder their eyes be all glazed over! They’ve answered this 8398238430348 times already.
Three, (and most importantly) it doesn’t help YOU help THEM.
Keep reading and I’ll teach you how to do that…
TLDR: Don’t kick off your conversations with beautiful strangers on topics they aren’t jazzed about that spin them into a scripted reply.
THIS IS NOT HOW YOU BECOME THE MOST INTERESTING PERSON IN THE ROOM.
HOW TO MAKE YOUR CONVERSATION WAYYYYYY SEXIER
Instead, I want you to banish that boring ass (and lazy way) of getting to know peeps from your vocab.
Instead, slide this super simple but awesome, unconventional, and energy-inducing question into its place:
So, what are you most EXCITED about in your life right now?
Say hello to your new friend dropping back into your convo and ACTUALLY being engaged and excited about what they are chattin’ about.
Instead of hearing about their boring ass J-O-B, you’re likely to hear about:
- a cool project they are working on
- a stellar vacation they are amped about planning
- or a personal goal they are kicking some major ass on
Want to make your DATES interesting too? Get my favorite 45 questions and I guarantee you’ll never have a boring date again!
BECOME A CONVERSATION SUPER HERO
This new conversation kick off style will make you a conversation super hero because your new friend is likely to feel one of the following:
- Gah, finally! Someone who didn’t immediately judge me by what I do for a living.
NOTE: you may not do this but a lot of peeps (especially ones who don’t dig what they do) are afraid you will.
- You’re causing a pattern interrupt by taking a non-traditional route — a crucial step in being REMEMBERED.
- Their eyes light up and they tell you about something they actually care about. This is more telling about who they are and what they value, then how they earn their smackers.
WHY ASKING THE MOST BORING QUESTION ON PLANET EARTH CAN BE HELPFUL
Before you get all sassy because you want to ask people what they do…
I’d like acknowledge that asking people what they do for a living can be helpful.
It helps your brain create context on ideal conversation topics and possible interests.
I talk to an engineer differently than I do a professional DJ because I can imagine what topics may interest them.
If you want to be the most interesting person in the room… you CAN ask people what they do for a living, just don’t make that the FIRST question you ask them.
Make it the 15th 😉
Also, how fun is it to challenge YOURSELF in conversation to NOT know what they do for a living? Loosing that context is really uncomfortable.
Give it a try and see how out of the ordinary if feels for you.
Remember, interesting conversations begin with interesting questions.
One final thing…
If you want an extra awesome way to connect with peeps and feel uber awesome in the process, follow up the first question with this second stellar one:
Awesome! What do you need to complete that goal?
Who are you looking to connect with?
What’s the biggest challenge you’re facing between you and the finish line?
AND — How can I can help?
And truly consider how you may be able to help them.
Asking “how can I help you bring that to life?” has brought me some really cool experiences. Like the time I met a guy who had a REAL LIFE Mystery Machine from the Scooby Doo cartoon. See exhibit A.
When I asked how I could help, he told me about how he dresses up as the crew from Scooby Doo and goes into a local school for blind children to make their day.
Turns out he needed a Velma for his next trip…and uh, WE BASICALLY HAVE THE SAME HAIR CUT! 🙂
So there I was a week later:
Not only did this memory become one of my favorites from the year — I’ll never forget the pure excitement we were able to bring to the children. Queue the warm fuzzies.
This experience happened because I asked — how can I help you with what’s important to you right now?
You can get anything you want in life, but it’s going to be a whole lot easier (and more enjoyable) if you help other people a long the way get what they want too.
Stop using boring questions as a crutch.
PLUS, you miss an opportunity to spark a truly awesome conversations, be REMEMBERED and see how rewarding it feels to help other people with what’s important to them.
Do you agree or disagree with this question? What are other interesting questions you ask new people you meet? How would YOU answer this question if I walked up to you right now and asked you?
Drop your comment below and let me know. I respond to all comments – feel free to ask any follow up questions you have as well.
Stay awesome and adventurous my friends,
Kendra “Keepin’ It Interesting” Wright.
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